Saturday, October 17, 2009

I've sunk to a new low...

I've gained four pounds in the last two weeks, not exactly the low I was hoping for. The really rotten thing about this is the fact that as of today I have officially gained back all of the weight I have lost since I have started this second stint at WW not quite two years ago. All FOURTEEN pounds of it, how sad is that? That is more than my dog Priscilla weighs. & she gets awfully heavy if you carry her around for more than five minutes.
miss Priscilla, please click on photo to see her cuteness up close

The other twelve I have managed to keep off (thank the good Lord) since I originally began WW, I'm guessing that was four or five years ago.

I warned the woman who weighed me this morning that I thought I'd gained some weight this week. I could tell by the look on her face after she weighed me that it wasn't going to be pretty. Arrgh! what the hell am I doing? why can't I stay focused with my food plan? Seriously, I am not getting any younger. I wonder if I am just destined to be 20 pounds overweight the rest of my life.
It doesn't seem like Weight Watchers is working for me. Then I wonder if I am just not working Weight Watchers.
I am also wondering if I should quit this program. Then I think about how whenever I skip a week of getting weighed at WW I always gain weight. It's as if I need to be accountable to someone, I need to be honest about what is going on with regard to my weight or I'll just keep gaining. This never used to be the case with me. In the past, whenever I put on a few pounds I used too focus on whatever made me happy in life and bump up the exercise and I would start to fit into my clothes better. I never used to weigh myself either.
Would I keep spiraling down if I stopped Weight Watchers, or is it possible I could still do it on my own?

For today I've decided it is very important to me to lose this extra baggage that I feel has been weighing me down.
For those of you who question my weight loss ambitions please know I'm not exactly miserable, I just remember what it was like not having the extra weight on my body. I was much more comfortable.
Somewhere along the way I've lost the knack for maintaining a healthy body weight. I write about it here as I try and figure out how to get that balance back.
I miss running faster, waking up easier, having more energy, and I remember noticing big improvements in all three of those areas when I was 14 pounds lighter.

Please vote in my poll as to whether or not you think I should stay in WW. It's over on my sidebar to your right.
Some good news, I've been exercising a lot. I jogged 3 miles the other day and I felt great afterwards.