Is Priscilla staring at the yellow fire hydrant?

No one can ever tell for sure exactly what she is doing or thinking. I can tell you this though, no one should ever have to endure the sound of a nine and a half pound Yorkie barking as if she is a German Shepherd before 7AM. When I watch her bark this early in the morning I seriously question how I could possibly love her as much as I do. Her bark is gruff and loud and pitchy and loud. Her bark makes my ears ring. I tried the dog whisperer tactic of talking softly, standing over her and making her sit. She responds by trying with all her might to sit as she desperately stifles a whimpering noise, eyes pleading, why? Why? Why are you making this so unbearable? She does actually sit there though and guess what happens after I tell her how good she is when I walk away?
Have I gone over her morning ritual as we wait for Ian's bus? How she runs to each of us looking earnestly with imploring eyes, begging us to think about what is going to happen. Once again, the yellow machine will be taking Ian away she seems to be reasoning and WHY ARE YOU HUMANS ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN? Every morning like clockwork she does her laps circling the living room. She jumps on Ian's lap letting him pet and cuddle her. Then she runs past my husband throwing him a glance quickly realizing he's the dog whisperers double so why bother trying to pull one over on him. She jumps up on my lap so she can look out the window hoping to catch a glimpse of the bus. Her head darts side to side, first looking out the window, then over to the door then straight at Ian. She repeats this intense looking at least three or six times. She acts as if her life depends on it or our lives depend on it.
As soon as Ian has one foot out the door it's as if she has completed a mission. She looks back only for a quick moment to make sure she has indeed accomplished her job of aggravating each one of us as she runs towards the kitchen stopping before her biscuit jar hoping for a reward.

Have you ever seen a dog faking sleep?

I know she is faking because it is a rare moment when I make the slightest move and she doesn't spring to attention. This is the dog that jumps up (actually I should say hops, because she really does hop, like a bunny she hops! ) from a seemingly sound sleep a half a second before the alarm goes off. Here she lies directly on top my pillow acting like she is sleeping. She thinks maybe I won't disturb her, like I may not kick her hairy butt off of my pillow, if I think she may be sleeping.
Tired of me taking photos of her in the above position, she gets paranoid thinking maybe she really shouldn't be sleeping RIGHT ON TOP of my pillow, so she moves to the foot of the bed, hoping I will leave her alone.

Still hoping I won't "wake" her...I kneel down in front of her to get a better look. There is no denying it now, she's busted!"OK Mommy, I'm awake...look at me, look how I am so upright," she communicates to me telepathically. Only being like her mother I see her eyes are glassy and she really does need to rest.which is verified by her quickly sinking head...There she goes, eyes glazing over...la la land here comes Priscilla. You can see why I love her.

"My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can."

-Cary Grant
I love this quote. Click on his name & you will be linked to a pretty cool website dedicated to Mr. Grant. I was looking for a quote about beds when I found this. It rings so true to me.

Today I bought a new bed for Priscilla-thankfully. Her old bed was fairly disgusting. Our old humidifier would mysteriously leak water and with her bed acting like a giant sponge...well you get the picture!
This new bed is so cozy looking, more like a giant pillow with paisley bright colored quilting. It's big & puffy too.
So acting like a pack mule entering the living room I inadvertently frighten Priscilla as I balance a large mirror, some new linens & Priscilla's bed. She wanted to come and greet me so badly but she trusted her instincts knowing that something about three times the size of her was making a lot of noise inside that plastic bag I was trying to negotiate.
Getting rid of the noisy plastic I figured she would go check out her new digs when I set it down where her old bed used to be. No such luck.
Actually, it's not the first time I have had to return a rejected pet bed. Though I have to say it was always our cat Sylvia who did the rejecting. And they were some plushy warm comfy looking cushiony beds too. Sylvia can be a bit of a control freak though, but that's another story.
Two hours later & Priscilla is still making a giant detour around her new bed every time she either enters or exits the living room. You can almost see her thinking... imagining to herself that if she got too close to that strange kind of psychedelic puffy cloud thing some weird portal may open up & suck her into the bed zone.
Then Ian comes home from school. Immediately seeing the new bed he shouts with glee,"I love this bed!" while promptly lying across it- perhaps reliving the days he used to pretend he was a dog. Right behind him was Priscilla running over quickly curling up into a ball as close to him as she could possibly get.

If you have waited patiently to hear this story, thank you.

& too my loyal readers, if you have heard this story before, I apologize!
The funniest thing about this story is that I don't even think I laughed when I witnessed it. Yet, every time I either think about it or retell it, it makes me laugh and smile. So here goes.

Remember Joe's Pizza I told you about yesterday? Well, back in February when my son and I stopped there for lunch it was so crowded it was like standing in the subway during rush hour. Picture yourself balancing a hot slice on a flimsy paper plate in the middle of a 10' x 12' room along with maybe 25-30 other people wearing winter coats & scarves carrying computers & grocery bags & pushing strollers. The child next to us actually had her wooden scooter wedged underneath the small table we were standing by. Seeing us standing there a kind mom with her two children offered to share her table with us. Considering their table was a tiny one it was a generous offer, so we were a little reluctant to take advantage. Desperately smiling we put our plates on the table and tried to act like we weren't taking up too much room. Acting as if I wasn't really there, I absorbed myself in my delicious pizza when I heard the kind mom say in a very patient but firm voice, "If you lick the table one more time, I am going to put you in your stroller." I had to look up and see who this was being told too. There before me in all her cuteness sat an approximately one year old tiny person. I'm pretty sure she was a girl. As she perched on her stool with her small head barely above the table she locked eyes with her mothers making sure her mom could see exactly what she was about to do. Slowly but quite steadily, and I wouldn't say defiantly because there was a look of wonder in her eyes as if she were compelled-she slowly licked the side of the table. With that her mother calmly rose up from her seat and at the same instant the little girl let out a small cry as if suddenly realizing, yes she would have to bear the consequences and please, please mommy, don't you see I just had to lick the table! Then it was over, her mother placed her in her stroller and there wasn't a peep out of her. In fact she looked quite content. Her mother went back to eating her pizza & her older sister continued to engage my son in conversation telling him she was three and a half. Five minutes later the almost 4 year old fished her scooter out from under the table and they were gone.
This mother & her two children were the ones who strolled by the window while we were eating our pizza at Joe's the other day. Ian got to see that it was indeed them.