Thank you Jesus!

Today is one of those days when everything is so abundantly overflowing with good news. I just want to revel in it. Today is the last day of my Dad's radiation treatments. He had a rough Autumn with illness & a leg injury that took him out of work. Right before Christmas he just wasn't physically up to par.Thankfully, considering the possible side effects of Prostate cancer he has had little. He needs to continue to take care of himself but he is going to be OK.

I just got my mammogram results back & they are fine. If any of you are women reading this, PLEASE get your mammos if you are not up to date. We owe it to ourselves, our families & every woman that has had to battle breast cancer. The earlier a problem is detected the better. Knowledge is power.

On a lighter note our man/boy, beautiful boy, just found out he was accepted to all three Catholic high schools he applied too, one of which says he is a candidate for their honors program. Please pray for him, he has a lot of thinking to do. He is also in the process of applying to 3 other schools, so that adds more decision making to the mix.

& lastly but definitely not leastly, my beloved parents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary today. My parents have pretty much been through it all & have come out of it very much ALIVE! & though it hasn't been an easy ride for them, they stuck it out & they stuck together. When I think of all the blessings in my life, among them is what my parents have given me over the years, like encouraging me to be who I really am- which is probably what I am most grateful to them for. What child doesn't want their parents to accept them as they are? I often think of them every time my husband & I encourage our son to be himself.

Thanks for that Mom & Dad

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom

This is one of my all time favorite reference books. It is written by Christiane Northrup, M.D. It has just been newly updated & revised in paperback.
Open this book at any page & you will be sure to find some valuable piece of information about how to take care of yourself as a woman. What I love about this book is that Dr. Northrup holistically addresses the mind body connection when it comes to women's emotional issues & their physical health. As you read this book you will find multiple resources & tools that you can use to empower yourself by taking positive steps in healing your body, mind & spirit.

If you have the time she will also be on Oprah January 17th, 2008. Check her out.

Another 1.8 lbs. lost last Saturday,

bringing my total loss to 10.6 pounds in 9 weeks. So I am losing a little over a pound a week. I am approximately 1 pound away from 3 years ago when I went to WW for the first & last time & lost 23 pounds. Fortunately I never gained all of the 23 pounds back. But I don't like to talk about this too much for fear I'll jinx myself. Watch...now I won't lose another pound for the next three weeks.

I feel I must risk that though for the sake of my dear readers who may have any real interest in the true story of how exactly I am losing weight. Obviously I am going to Weight Watchers once a week, which is a first step. Though I have to say it is only a first step in terms of reaching out for help. Two days before I started WW was when I really began this journey, that was when I saw my DR after not wanting too- after putting it off for almost 2 months. I was scared to go. I knew I hadn't lost the weight we talked about. In fact I gained at least three pounds. So in effect, fear & courage was probably my greatest motivator. After seeing the DR & realizing my blood pressure wasn't high enough to medicate at 140/85, I felt like I had a second chance to make things right. I also didn't want to feel so scared & powerless again. It's not that I think I can control outcomes-I don't. Though I do believe I can control my actions. I can make better choices. I can consciously do the next right thing. I can stop doing the same old thing expecting different results.

When I first started this blog, my first post was all about not wanting to go back to WW. I felt like it didn't work for me in the end. I felt like I had hit a plateau & I just wasn't losing anymore, so why spend the money? What really happened was I just made a decision that I really can't explain. As frustrated as I was during that time, I can put my past experience with WW to good use now. Three things come to mind. First, I refuse to adopt the merde attitude I had during my last months in WW. At times I find myself thinking, what was with that? I mean I am just about a pound away from that original 23 lost & how could I just not be grateful? Why didn't I just up the ante back then, do more exercise, switch my foods around, go to more meetings-whatever. But we all know woulda, shoulda, coulda doesn't help things. Besides, what about today? That is all any of us really have.

So secondly, that is what I am doing now, concentrating on the day at hand, being present, living as a conscious human, listening to my higher power & my angels whispering me direction-that voice in my head that says what the right thing is to do & then actually doing it. Sometimes I get afraid that I won't be able to complete my weight loss & actually lose all of the weight I need to lose. So far, the minute those thoughts enter my mind I stop myself from thinking them. I just do not want to go there anymore.

Thirdly, attending WW meetings helps me tremendously. Instead of focusing on how WW didn't work in the past I decided to take my husbands suggestion & concentrate on how WW could help me now. One thing I decided to do was to try a new leader. My last leader was OK but I thought a different one might make a difference. This means I have to drive 4 miles to my meeting rather than just walk around the corner, but it is so worth it. I now have a great motivating leader. She walks the talk, she is very funny & I have noticed that she talks about behaviour even more than food. She isn't afraid to get the group to share their feelings & show us how to change our thinking. I get a lot of support & encouragement hearing my leaders & other peoples stories about the positive changes they are making in their lives.

"We heal through loving connection. Every time we're hurt or feel like we can't go on, it's someone reaching out and connecting that makes the difference. And love-no matter how it's offered or when it comes-can build a bridge to something better." -Oprah.

I happened to read this last weekend & though Oprah's article was on an entirely different subject, it made me think of how when I ask for help it is given & how that helping hand really does act like a bridge enabling me to cross over whatever challenge, great or small I may be facing at the time. In my case I am healing the part of me that needs to take care of myself.

Lord, thank you for giving me the help I need to carry me through my life.

"A lot of people are singing about how screwed up the world is, and I don't think everybody wants to hear about that all the time."-Mariah Carey

The concert at the TillesCenter for the Performing Arts was awesome! It is good to know that there are masses of young people devoting themselves to something so uplifting & enriching like music. Not only are they themselves becoming all the better for it but they are touching other peoples lives in a positive way in the process. What a wonderful thing.

Before the orchestra played, the Vice President of my son's division commented on how cooperative & respectful all of the young musicians were during this last week of rehearsals. There is something about music that is truly magical in so many ways. I don't have any idea how many of these young participants will go on to become musicians. It does seem to me though, that the experience of committing oneself to a discipline transfers over to so many other areas of one's life. Ian's music teacher told me that all of her friends that continued to play music-despite all the practices, are glad that they did. While her friends that stopped playing are sorry they didn't continue. Having to practice an instrument everyday is a big commitment. For Ian, he strives to do that. This works for him because if he misses a day, it's just one day. By learning & practicing & getting better at something, it teaches him that he can do that with other things as well. This has been a great tool for me as a parent. Over the years when Ian has faced other challenges I can always reassure him with, "It's just like the violin, all you have to do is practice." I think of how that alone contributes to a persons self esteem. Also, getting up in front of a large room full of your peers & playing a solo-I believe that nurtures courage. Then there is the simple act of sharing something of yourself that is beautiful, & by doing so you bring happiness to those around you.

I remember when my childhood friend started her children in Suzuki violin lessons, she would have them bring their violins to NY when they came to visit family & friends so we could hear them play. Truthfully -at the time, I had no idea what I was listening too. However, I could see what a wholesome experience it was for not only her young children, but also for myself & the other listeners around me. When my friend suggested my son take these same type of violin lessons, looking back on it, I am so very glad I was open to her suggestion.

Thank you dear friend.

"If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it,..."-Shakespeare

So for the past three nights 700 children chosen from all over Nassau County assembled together to rehearse for tonight's concert at The Tilles Center.The program includes a band, a chorus, a jazz band, and an orchestra. Every child had to rehearse after school from 4PM to 8PM for three consecutive nights.
The first night I dropped my son off I watched him play in an orchestra for the first time. Most of this large group of children never met, much less played together before & they already sounded good. Last night I arrived early hoping to get a glimpse of how far they progressed. One word-Amazing! The lump that formed in my throat was quite big, the tears of happiness had to be kept at bay. They sounded so beautiful. The guest conductor was very enthusiastic with them. He was completely into it all. What is it about music that just makes you feel so uplifted?
When the kids were finished rehearsing, the conductor told them it was an honor to be there with them. Then he went around to all the children telling them "Good job, good job.

Yesterday

January 9th marked the one year anniversary of my brother-in-laws death. It says something about a man when his mother, with all of his siblings & their partners gather together & spend the day remembering him. The love of his life brought roses & each of us threw them into the ocean where he swam. She brought us white balloons & we all wrote messages on them telling him how much we miss him & love him. My husband wrote simple words describing special memories that only they shared as children. I wrote how lucky I was to have him for a brother-in-law. I wrote for my son how much he wished he was there to be with everyone & how much he loves him. Then we released the white balloons & watched as they disappeared from view into the vivid blue sky knowing Paul would catch & read every one of them up in Heaven.

His love shouted to the sky,"...see how special you are!"