But honestly, what is the alternative? Should I just keep spiraling down until I have gained back every ounce of weight I lost and more?
This morning as I drove to my weight watchers meeting I thought I would have definitely lost some weight because well, get this logic, since I had gained so much back since the end of January, I believed "I must have lost something this week". When the nice weigh in woman told me I had gained 1.6 pounds, I just thought to myself how ridiculous this is. I am so not getting anywhere. Every week it's the same thing. My WW leader calls this the weight loss cha-cha. Up 2 pounds, down 1 pound, up .6, down .2, slowly but surely that has been me the last two months, going nowhere but in the wrong direction.
Yesterday I thought about quitting Weight Watchers. I fantasized that if I quit I could save the money I was spending on it for the new clothes I could buy myself after I finished losing my weight. Somehow I thought I'd magically lose weight if I quit WW. Now that makes a lot of sense.
I also thought about using my WW money to see a shrink instead. I thought maybe he could tell me why I was failing to lose weight and maybe act as a personal coach of sorts. That idea quickly dissolved when I realized I so did not want to get into my whole life story. I am sick of analyzing it.
Driving home I accepted the fact that I haven't focused on my goal & I need to start anew. So today I am putting a weight loss tracker at the top of my post. I am using this as a daily visual reminder that I want to lose 17 pounds. & I don't want to take a year and a half to do it. I need to recommit to my program. I also have to acknowledge the good things I have been doing.
So that I will end this post on a positive note I am listing four things I have been successful at.
I exercise at least 4 times a week, sometimes 5
I have been getting enough sleep
I didn't gain all the weight back that I had lost. I am still down 17 pounds from when I first started weight watchers a few years ago.
I didn't quit WW today.
When I lose 17 more pounds, that will put me a few pounds ahead of my weight watchers goal. I've always wanted to do that. Then I'll get to become a lifetime member!
I just realized something. This goal should be at the very top of my bucket list. Hey, I'm already half way there!