Saturday, March 28, 2009

I am sick of talking about my weight.

But honestly, what is the alternative? Should I just keep spiraling down until I have gained back every ounce of weight I lost and more?
This morning as I drove to my weight watchers meeting I thought I would have definitely lost some weight because well, get this logic, since I had gained so much back since the end of January, I believed "I must have lost something this week". When the nice weigh in woman told me I had gained 1.6 pounds, I just thought to myself how ridiculous this is. I am so not getting anywhere. Every week it's the same thing. My WW leader calls this the weight loss cha-cha. Up 2 pounds, down 1 pound, up .6, down .2, slowly but surely that has been me the last two months, going nowhere but in the wrong direction.
Yesterday I thought about quitting Weight Watchers. I fantasized that if I quit I could save the money I was spending on it for the new clothes I could buy myself after I finished losing my weight. Somehow I thought I'd magically lose weight if I quit WW. Now that makes a lot of sense.
I also thought about using my WW money to see a shrink instead. I thought maybe he could tell me why I was failing to lose weight and maybe act as a personal coach of sorts. That idea quickly dissolved when I realized I so did not want to get into my whole life story. I am sick of analyzing it.
Driving home I accepted the fact that I haven't focused on my goal & I need to start anew. So today I am putting a weight loss tracker at the top of my post. I am using this as a daily visual reminder that I want to lose 17 pounds. & I don't want to take a year and a half to do it. I need to recommit to my program. I also have to acknowledge the good things I have been doing.
So that I will end this post on a positive note I am listing four things I have been successful at.

I exercise at least 4 times a week, sometimes 5

I have been getting enough sleep

I didn't gain all the weight back that I had lost. I am still down 17 pounds from when I first started weight watchers a few years ago.

I didn't quit WW today.

When I lose 17 more pounds, that will put me a few pounds ahead of my weight watchers goal. I've always wanted to do that. Then I'll get to become a lifetime member!
I just realized something. This goal should be at the very top of my bucket list. Hey, I'm already half way there!


MmeBenaut said...

Hee hee. The see-saw; I know I'm never going to lose weight while I have chocolate in the house. I haven't been trying at all - I tend to ignore diets since I know I could never stick to one. I'd like to lose at least 20 pounds! I've gained weight during the "change" and I don't like it one bit but I know that I only have myself to blame. I'm too scared to join WW though! I figure that one day I'll do it by myself.
I love that you turned your thinking around completely to positive from negative. You're an inspiration Lily.

Anonymous said...

Good thing to express it all. Buy yourself some new clothes NOW, it will be the lift you need to continue your weight loss quest. It works! Do it, PGma

Lily Hydrangea said...

wow! what sage advice PGma & encouragement from both you dear ladies.
Thank you.

Kitty said...

that's incredible. Wow. you've been great!
Sorry I haven't checked in recently.

Yknow I've been doing the South Beach Diet for the 10 lbs that has crept up on me. I lost 4 1/2 in the first 2 weeks, but haven't weighed myself since then (that was six weeks ago).

I recommend this diet. I feel great and have pretty much permanently changed my eating habits. I never had a huge sweet tooth, though, so I'm lucky. It's harder if you like sweets.

I'm with you. Dieting is difficult. It's a very slow process that takes a lot of discipline.

I'm impressed that you've lost 17 lbs. Wowee!!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever given thougt to seeing a nutrtionist? Do you know of a reputable one? What do you think about that possibility? xxxxx

spandrel studios said...

Congratulations on your weight loss -- that's a huge accomplishment! Hang in there - it will be worth it!

WW made me a a bit "obsessed" about food - thinking about it, documenting it, planning ahead for it. Eventually, it does become second nature, and you'll find yourself drawn to your favorites among the healthier choices you learn to make.