Saturday, May 31, 2008

It's Saturday and you know what that means...

once again I found it quite difficult to attend my 7AM weight watchers meeting. I was convinced that I hadn't lost any weight & when I weighed myself before I left it looked like I had actually gained! I thought about not going and then I realized if I didn't I wouldn't have my journal for the week & that wouldn't be good. I need to write down what I am eating. Doing that and going to meetings seem to be what works for me. When I do those things those are the weeks when I am most successful. Plus I had to be at the car repair shop by 8AM & when I thought about going to take care of my car before taking care of myself that stopped me dead in my tracks. I realized how bad that would make me feel, sort of like a martyr. I can't go to my weight watchers meeting, I have to get my car fixed! Then I would be sitting there at the repair shop all like, see, this is why I can't lose weight, I have to do this & this & this. Then I suddenly realized how much I've changed. The same old story doesn't fly with me anymore. I could easily go to my meeting and drop the car afterwards. If I nurture my weight loss goal by going to my meeting, I would feel great no matter what the scale says.
That didn't stop me from thinking if I just joined the gym it would be four dollars less a month than what I am paying for my WW meetings. I was thinking this when I got out of my car in the parking lot before going inside to get weighed. Just as quickly I knew though, I have to do this. I need to reach my goal no matter how long it takes. I don't want to be overweight the rest of my life. I don't want all of the added health problems that accompany too much weight on my bones. If I have to continue to go to my WW meetings in order to succeed, that is a pretty small price to pay.
So I get on the scale and when the WW woman pulled out the little shelf, for the first time I could actually see the number on the scale. Now this is how sick I am. I look at the number and I automatically think I gained weight.
Then the nice WW lady says, "down point six." So I lost weight! I lost a little over half a pound. What? I lost? I don't know... sometimes I think I am a lost cause, I mean really, for someone like myself who thinks I am the most positive person I can be a real downer when it comes to my own stuff.
So I have decided this week I have committed to believing I am going to lose weight this week. And I am going to go out on a limb here and say I believe I am going to lose two pounds this week, maybe even three! I'm going to make little signs and post them up everywhere in my house with this proclamation so that I will remember each day throughout this week what my mission is. I'm also going to take out the fat picture of me in my bathing suit from last summer and put that where I can see it as well.
I'll keep you posted!

"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can."~Michael Korda

Friday, May 30, 2008

How many times have you seen this movie?

blow this photo up by clicking on it for a better view of Johnny's hairless chest
I've never taken a photo of a movie on my TV set before. At least if I have, I don't remember doing so. Maybe I was driven to experimentation out of the sheer boredom of watching snippets of this movie one hundred times in the last five days. To say the people in this house love this movie is an understatement. I'm exaggerating. It's not like I ever watch that much TV anyway. It's just that when I do it has to be something planned ahead of time.
It's not that I don't like pirates. How could anyone not like this movie when Johnny Depp is playing the lead pirate?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

you're not sick of looking at her yet are you?

I didn't think so, so I just had to share this with you!
You can't tell but she's looking straight at me. Her eyes are tired but that does not deter her mission in life ( I love her little hairy leg hanging down by the back of the pillow). She is happy in this position because she is basically on top of Ian's head but she can still see everything I am doing. This is very important since in her eyes I am the endless supplier of food. I may sprout something for her to eat at any given moment and she is fully committed to be at the ready!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

"Happiness only real when shared"

Recently I saw the movie Into the Wild. The title of this post is the message I came away with from that film. Christopher McCandless wrote the above quote in the movie upon realizing this at the end of his life. That profound realization on his part made me think he did not die in vain. This was proven to me when he made that connection between his own happiness and how it is essential to share it with others for it to be real... how profound is that?
A couple of years ago my sister-in-law aka Quasi-Mom sent me an invitation to visit her blog. Her invitation made me feel special, that it was important to her that I read her blog. I knew that she had been blogging but I was a bit spastic using my computer. Most of the time if I found her blog I would inadvertently hit the wrong button never being able to find it again without help from someone else. So inadvertently her invitation made me feel like it was imperative that I make more of an effort to properly learn how to use my computer as well.
My brother & QM have been together for what seems like forever but sadly they live far away so I don't get to see them much. If you spend anytime at Quasi-Mom's blog, you will see that it is like an ode to her children and her family.
This works out perfectly for me because I feel like I am privy to the goings on over at their house. I get to find out the main events in their life on a daily basis. I feel like I am a part of their family. The fact that a bunch of strangers who read her blog may feel this way too does not diminish the fact that I AM actually a part of her family-as in blood relative. OK maybe not specifically to Quasi, but to her children who share my bloodlines & in so doing (in my mind) bind me to Quasi in a way that can never be refuted.

The truth is though, that even if we weren't bound this way, we are soul sisters nonetheless and it is mainly because of her blogging. Something tells me I may not be the only one who feels this way about Quasi. As she opens up about her faith, motherhood, and her self, she expresses thoughts and feelings that many women can relate too. It's nice to know as a mom trying to be good in all ways that there are other girls in the world just like you. Through my connection to Quasi I have connected with many other people through their blogs including people I know as well as people I don't know.
Quasi's blog also makes me feel connected to my brother & their children in a way I otherwise would not be if QM didn't share their life with us. I can also say this is most likely true for the extended members of my family as well. Given the fact that QM is my relative I think the feeling of kinship may be stronger than my other web based relationships but I must say that through blogging and reading other people's blogs I feel a greater kinship with the rest of humanity in general. It amazes me that I am able to connect to hundreds of people that I may only have a couple of things in common with yet because of that common interest we are able to do so. Blogging in general seems to foster looking at how we as humans can get along as opposed to how we don't get along.
In working on my own blog I have noticed a genuine attempt on Blogger's part to make information in general accessible to all who seek it. Not only are all of the services they offer to a new blogger free, they seem to go out of their way to make their site user friendly. For someone like me who is not at all computer savvy, that says a lot. I can't help but feel that because of these factors Blogger sets the tone for what goes on at Blogger. I am sure I would be naive to assume all is rosy in every blog at Blogger but from what I have read I haven't found any negative blogs. Maybe it's as simple as like attracting like.
Whatever the case may be, this type of sharing is what I think is so cool about the blogosphere. It promotes a sense of inclusion as opposed to separateness or exclusion. Simply put, blogging makes us feel "connected" if not through a familial experience like my own it connects us through our shared experiences with one another. You don't have to be a blood relative to Quasi to feel connected to her.
What I have also discovered upon faithfully following Quasi is that she is a very smart, creative, spiritually hip momma who has an eye for what is happening in our culture. Just to give you an example, "Mommy blogs" are getting a lot of press as of late. Not only did she come up with the coolest name for her blog, from what I can tell she has also been blogging for at least three years.
Most admirably though, she likes to grow and this is what ultimately inspired me to start my own blog.
I originally thought I could never blog about my life, I am too private. I don't like telling people I don't know... pretty much anything. Than I realized that wasn't really true. As I thought about it I discovered that I do like to share my experiences, especially ones where I have found a solution that might possibly help others. In fact most everyone I know has an urge to help their fellows in one way or another. It could be sharing information about how to detox their bodies, or it could be something designed to make you laugh or cry. Sometimes you may need a good cry.

As I continued to read Quasi & other peoples blogs I began to notice how cool it was that many many people were sharing information this way and they have been doing so for quite awhile.
In pondering the idea of my own blog, I also thought that, you know, it could be up to me as to how I tell my stories. I could reveal as much or as little as I like. Most importantly though, I had a tremendous desire inside me to write. It was a desire I felt that I needed to take action on. I started to notice it when I first started using a computer about six or so years ago. When that computer crashed and I lost letters I had been writing for two years to a close friend, I was devastated. I was devastated because I had enjoyed writing those letters as much as I enjoyed my friendship with the person with whom I was writing too.
At one point Quasi herself told me I should start a blog. For a long time before that my husband and son encouraged me to write as well.
Then last November I came to a turning point in my life. I felt that I had to do something about my health both mentally and physically. I came across a post from a blog that I had read about on Quasi's blog (of course). It was here that Dooce referred to another blogger as doing a very brave thing. Immediately I had to read further as I am always intrigued by other people's bravery. What I read on this blog got me to thinking, I could do this. I could be brave, & I could write about it too. And if I write about it maybe I might encourage someone else which in turn may encourage me or if that doesn't happen, maybe I will just continue to encourage myself!

So on November 12th I started writing Lily Hydrangeas Anonymous Blog. I sent it to as many people I could think of. My oldest brother responded right away writing only, "Lily Hydrangea"?
He has never failed to make me laugh out loud.
So 100 posts later what has happened since I have started writing this blog? First and foremost I get to write everyday. This has been a blessing for me because I have found it to be a new passion of mine and I feel like I have only touched the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more to write about!
Secondly, my health has improved-( I know- maybe that should have been first). I've committed to a weight loss program and lost 8.2 pounds. I still have more to lose but I honestly couldn't tell you how much that is. For some reason my thinking has changed on this which I believe might be a side effect from my blogging. I do care very much about being successful losing weight but I also think I have learned it's about my whole being or being whole that counts. It's a day to day goal for me, not a specific weight loss goal that I am trying to reach so much as, what am I doing right here right now? It is more like an awareness that has opened up inside me begging the question, am I doing the right thing for me today? Am I taking care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually today? Am I living a conscious life? If I am not, what is one thing that I could do right now to turn my day around? Usually that one thing would be writing a post for my blog.
Ultimately I have to wonder-will I ever be successful? a writer I mean.
That's another thing that is cool about this whole blogging thing, if you keep coming back here you will get to see what happens in almost real time!
Mostly I feel like I am doing something fun and I am learning and connecting to others in the process of doing so. In other words, Happiness is only real when shared.
I hope you are enjoying my blog as much as I am.
If anyone is reading this, thank you & a special thanks to Quasi too.

~Lily H.

"In art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth." -Patti Smith

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tomorrow I celebrate my 100th post!

If you are interested in the more extended version of why I started my blog, please come and visit me tomorrow.

In other news I am saddened to hear that Sydney Pollack died yesterday. He is one of my all time favorite actors. My husband, another fan of Mr. Pollack, works in Manhattan so it wasn't unusual when he walked by him on the sidewalk last year. He said he looked like a million bucks. Yesterday when he told me he had died, he was in disbelief remembering his encounter and how great he looked.
When I was watching Michael Clayton I didn't know Mr. Pollack was in it so it was a real treat when he appeared on screen. You know how it is when you get to see one of your favorite actors act. It's just fun and Mr. Pollack was fun to watch-he was always good. I felt lucky to have just seen him in Michael Clayton and right before that in a French film released in America by the name of Avenue Montaigne-another movie Sydney Pollack's presence enhanced.
George Clooney was right, Sydney Pollack always seem to make whatever part he played in life more interesting.
R.I.P. Mr. Pollack...we will miss you.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Memorial Day

click on this photo to see our flag up close and beautiful.

I am leaving today's post to my dear Eleanor. I thought this was a fitting quote for today.
"Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry his own weight, this is a frightening prospect."~Eleanor Roosevelt

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Priscilla sleeping

This is how she spends a good portion of her day. It wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that she has taken up waking me at 5AM for the past two weeks. What gets me is why does she cry for me? Why doesn't she ever go over to my husbands side of the bed and cry for him? This does not make me feel special or loved in any way. I keep telling her this and even though she sits there waiting patiently while I speak, as if she is listening intently, nothing changes.
I am actually feeling sleep deprived. It's terrible. Unless I am sleeping by nine PM I will not get a full nights sleep...ever.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

My weight stayed the same...

I guess that is better than gaining! I'll take it. I was disappointed, but not for long. The weather this weekend is so perfect and there is nothing I have to do other than work in the garden and go see a movie with the hubby and our beautiful boy so how could I stay upset or disappointed for long?
This week I set new goals. Two major things, exercise more and eat five servings of fruit and veggies everyday. Today I ate three. I guess that's a start. Plus I ran 3.2 miles. Though I dreaded running I felt like a million bucks afterwards-as if I know what that is supposed to feel like!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked up from my coffee and saw this sky before me.

Friday, May 23, 2008

tomorrow morning I get weighed again!

I just realized I never reported on my weight loss last week. I lost another pound. I wanted to let you know before I find out the latest loss (hopefully) tomorrow morning.
This evening I purposely ate dinner early so I wouldn't get too hungry and over eat. I am also going to bed early so I'll get enough sleep and won't be too tired all day tomorrow too. I tend to get extra hungry when I don't get enough sleep.
I hope I lost another pound.
Among other things (so you know this isn't all I did), today I worked in my garden for 4 hours and after dinner I went on a bike ride. It was a perfect evening for a bike ride.
Maybe that will help me in the weight loss department.
Sorry this is a boring post. Maybe this photo will make it better. Clouds to me are like flowers. I never get sick of looking at them.

What do you see when you look at this picture?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I am so happy David Cook won!!!

I really thought he wouldn't make it. So strangely, when they announced him as the winner it was even more gratifying to watch and then he cried!!! Oh my gosh he is so humble and so talented. We had already decided that if he didn't win we wouldn't be able to watch American Idol next year. So yay!!! now we can!!!!
David Cook you rock!
By the way, I bought these flowers to plant in my flower boxes. They are among my favorites. Truthfully I can not think of any flowers that I don't like. If you look closely you will see some licorice plants here along with some sweet potato vine.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Lost Photos

If my house burned down I think I would be more devastated over the loss of my photos more than anything else. Thankfully with new technology we are able to store our photos with lots of back up. What about those old photos though? I guess we could scan them into our computer, but who really takes the time to do that?
For those of you who haven't noticed, I recently added "Write now is good" to Interesting Places here at LHAB. Please go there and check out how someone started an online gallery of photos to help those who were recent victims of southwest Missouri, Oklahoma, Kansas and Arkansas tornadoes reclaim found photos and other personal items. Good, good stuff.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Poppies in morning light

I love our garden and these flowers are among my favorites. I must admit I have many favorite flowers though. After my last intense post it is only fitting that I share something so light and hopeful and full of spirit like these awesome flowers. That is how these flowers make me feel whenever I see them in our backyard in the early morning hours. That happens to be the best time to go and see the garden. In the earliest part of a new day when all is quiet and I am just waking up it helps me to see nature alive and vibrantly alert. It's better than caffeine!
I find this photo very appealing because it captured a lot of what I notice about this little patch of what makes this one of my favorite places in the garden. The Poppies are noticeably going through their many different stages complete with their various colors and textures. These are exciting flowers to have in ones garden. They reseed themselves so each year I get a few more as they spread across the ground. During their final stage where their seed pod turns from a bright feathery green to a light almost brittle brown the seeds are released to grow new plants that come back later in the summer. In between it looks as if everything has completely died out only many more are actually propagating almost entirely unnoticed.
When I first inherited this garden I tried to cut these poppies to display inside but they barely lasted half an hour in a glass of water. The cool thing about these flowers is that you have to go outside and visit them if you want to enjoy their beauty.

"Give me odorous at sunrise a garden of beautiful flowers where I can walk undisturbed."
~Walt Whitman

Friday, May 16, 2008


Have you ever heard of this? How many kids do you know believe their friends when they say it's OK to do this or that-it won't hurt you. Then they will proceed to do it themselves right in front of them and may in fact look "OK" after they do it. So the other kids think it's safe and go ahead and try it themselves. Only what they are actually doing is playing Russian Roulette.
The following story was sent to me by my sister-in-law. This story is true, I checked it out on Snopes. Go here to find out more information.


First, I'm going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were #2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor. He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it.He would tell on you.
The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. She makes them promise that they won't.
I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use one of them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my two sons both said they had used them on their computer and were messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them.
On February 28 I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off.I went home and set it down beside my computer.
On March 1st, I left for work at 10 PM. Just before midnight my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 5:30 am the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work.
He was propped up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.
I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 AM.

I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. It's just compressed air. It can't hurt you. His best friend said no.
Kyle was wrong. It's not just compressed air. It also contains a propellant called R2. It's a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas, heavier than air. When you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It can't hurt you. IT KILLS YOU!
The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die. IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE. It's Russian Roulette. You don't die later.
Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as you're breathing it in, if not you die within 2 seconds of finishing 'the hit'.
That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eyes were still open. The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here. And that's why it's more accepted.
There is no chemical reaction, no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days be fore he died of his tongue hurting.
It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known.

It's easy to say, hey it's my life and I'll do what I want. But it isn't.
Others are always affected. This has forever changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere to run from it.
I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.
After Kyle died another story came out. A probation Officer went to the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom.. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there.
They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this 'new' way of getting high they found, they hid it.
The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it.. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.
We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs. Using Dust Off isn't new and some 'professionals' do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They all seem to know about it.
April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but wonder if I died and went to Hell. This Officer is asking for EVERYONE who receives this email to forward it to everyone in their address book, even Law Enforcement Officers. Even if you do not have children, you can still forward this to friends who do.
You may click on the envelope below to forward this story to anyone you know.
Thanks Theresa.

Monday, May 12, 2008

"One touch of nature makes the whole world kin."-Shakespeare

Saturday morning I found out I lost 2.4 pounds. So I didn't lose the three I thought I had at the beginning of the week. Actually I did lose it last Monday, I just found some of it back. Three would have been nice, but I am grateful I lost 2.4.
In less than two weeks I have to see the DR & I would love to be 4 more pounds lighter when I see her. I am going to have to up the ante a bit I think.
Last week I committed to exercising everyday, juicing & joining the gym. I actually didn't exercise until Wednesday which only left me three days of that week to exercise. So Wednesday & Thursday I ran 3.2 miles & Friday I walked for 50 minutes. I never juiced, but I do have the organic celery, carrots, parsley and apples waiting in the fridge. I also didn't join the gym. I know I can juice and exercise today. I also may be able to check out the gym. I guess it is always good to set goals because inevitably I will wind up doing something and something is always better than nothing. I have to focus on my progress. It's OK to be honest with myself seeing what I didn't do, but I can't let that cloud my thinking. I don't seem to get very far thinking like the perfectionist I once was.
I like to volunteer to bring either the fruit salad or the green salad whenever I am invited to a food gathering. This way I get to use as many organic ingredients that I can. Consuming organic ingredients is a small step all of us can take to insure better health for ourselves as well as the planet. Besides, those organic strawberries here in this salad tasted far superior than any I have tasted this season by far! Go here if you would like to know more about the consequences of pesticide use. I can't imagine how boring life would be without birds in my yard.
We do not use any toxic substances on our property. We can't control other people's actions, but we can start with ourselves and in doing so I believe each of us can make a difference to help ourselves and our beloved planet.
I like to think my family and I are providing a sanctuary for all of the animals that come to visit here or make it their home. Sometimes when I am outside in my garden I feel like I'm in a jungle as I listen to nature's music. I also welcome the busy flying back and forth of the birds across the lawn from one tree to the next. I find my garden a complete respite for my mind.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Ian's Audition for the Glee Club

I thought I would pick Ian up a little early from school yesterday so he could prepare himself for his audition. I didn't want to be rushed. I wanted him to have some moments to himself to shed his school day and try and relax. Plus he had to practice his songs a bit.
As he sat next to me in the small space of our car and started to practice I started to worry. I wouldn't say he sounded bad, but he just didn't sound like himself. His voice sounded tired. Panis Angelicus always sounds pretty when he sings it. As angelic as Ian sounded yesterday, it sounded like something was missing. Was it his energy? I couldn't put my finger on it. The principal at his school was telling me all the kids have been overtired lately. They think it's the allergy inducing air tiring everybody out. Ian's DR said last week that this Spring in NY has been the worst allergy season he has ever seen. Great- I thought, the timing for this audition is just not good at all.
We had to wait for another student to finish his audition. I started talking with God. I know when I am talking with him because I start to feel an inner calm. I start getting reasonable thoughts in my brain that I don't believe would be there in such circumstances unless God was there to comfort me. Like for instance, I started to realize that you know, whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Why not just let God's will unfold? I prayed a simple prayer taking me out of my own head asking God to please let his will be done, bless Ian and the other people involved with the auditions today. Help them all to follow your path Lord. This always makes me feel noble when I pray for all those involved. I think God likes it when I start to think of others and what they may be going through in our shared set of circumstances. It always makes me feel better when I remember to do this.
Yes, this teacher is about to decide something important for our son, but you know what? In actuality God is the one making the decisions through this wonderful teacher. ( I could tell he is wonderful because he is so into it.) In other words, if Ian doesn't get in the glee club, that means he's not suppose to be there.
As I was waiting for my son as he auditioned for the glee club at the high school he will be attending in the Fall, I was completely overcome with emotion. It happened all at once, it was worse than getting choked up. It felt like that type of soul wrenching feeling when you just know without a doubt that God gives us many gifts. Like when you see our creator busy looking for opportunities to let his light shine through us so completely so the world can feel his presence. I believe God created music for precisely this reason. It breaks down all barriers, it's sole purpose being to unite all of us.
I turned to face the row of lockers to avoid eye contact with two students passing by.
Outside the open doorway we could clearly hear Ian in the middle of singing Hey Jude. The students stopped in their tracks one asking the other, "Who is that, hey do you know him?" Watching this my happy tears turned to laughter thinking to myself, I can't wait to tell Ian about this!
Towards the end of his audition I started to get the feeling the teacher was making it a lengthy one so that he could continue to hear him sing. To make a long story short Ian got in the glee club.
The only problem now is he has to decide between either the glee club or the orchestra. The teacher told him to follow his heart.
OK God, it's me again...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

carpenter bees

Please click on photo to enlarge and see the bee.

Can you see it hovering right at the edge of the roof closest to the peak? The bee was actually much closer than it looks because of the illusion of the space involved. It looks like it is close to the top of the roof. Either way you look at it you can tell it is quite large! They can be so intimidating too. I just keep telling myself they don't sting and go about my business as I work outside. They make a very loud buzzing sound as well.
Every Spring they bore holes into the wood frame of our house and every Spring my husband fills the wood up again.
One time I was gardening in the backyard when I heard one literally banging into the picket fence making loud thumping noises flailing its body against it as it bore a hole straight through!

Monday, May 5, 2008

This is weird

I weighed myself this morning & I already lost 3 pounds. It's weird because I never lose weight quickly like that anymore. It must be water weight because it seemed like I was constantly peeing this last weekend. It must have been all of the asparagus and blueberries I ate. I didn't really do anything drastic as far as my diet goes except I did eat more fruits & vegetables. I still had dessert the last two nights but I stayed within my points. The trick now is to see if I can lose 2.4 pounds or more the rest of this week. I'm already thinking I doubt that I can. Not to be negative, it's just that 3 pounds is a lot for me to lose. I'll see what I can do.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Oh, how I dread posting this...

Hopefully it will be good for me as I face the situation and recommit myself AGAIN to my weight loss. Honestly, I actually thought I had my mojo back!!! So when I got on the scale yesterday morning I thought, OK, I missed my weekly weight watchers meeting while gallivanting in Boston so I thought if I had gained 1 or 2 pounds I am not going to get upset about it, no big deal, like what do I expect? This was my thinking. Also, the important thing is that I came back to my weekly meeting ready to weigh in & I was ready to face the music. I was doing what I am supposed to be doing. Content with these thoughts I handed my little card to the nice lady. I don't know what it was exactly- maybe it was her body language, but somehow I knew it wasn't good. I get my card back and decide to take a seat before I find out the verdict. Good thing I sat down.
Ready? +5.4 pounds. I gained back 5.4 pounds in 2 weeks! How much does that suck? I wondered if she made a mistake. I wonder if I should ask her to weigh me again, just to make sure. I want to flee the area. But where would I go? How would I feel if I actually left? It would be liking giving up on myself. And I've actually started loving myself enough not to be doing that. I have to be there for me. I probably need this meeting more than ever this morning. I force myself to stay. It doesn't matter how uncomfortable I am feeling. What matters is today.
Sitting there in disbelief I am right next to a line of people getting weighed. Some are happy, they have lost weight. There goes my theory about the scale being broken. I decide to wait till I get home to check my weight. I was going to do a little shopping first. I realize it's probably better to go home after my meeting and eat some yogurt with fruit before I get too hungry. It was already 8:30 and I hadn't had any breakfast. I go home and the first thing I do is weigh myself and yes I find out WW's scale is indeed correct. I allow myself the day to get over it vowing I will post about it this morning.
Each week they have a space on the weight watchers mini journal where you can write down a commitment for the week. This week I decide to exercise everyday, sign up for the gym and juice some greens-that always gives me lots of energy.
Hmm...I wonder if this may have anything to do with my recent weight gain? Funny how I actually thought having tea and sharing fries would help me calorie wise.

Friday, May 2, 2008

It's true, JFK did live in the same building as Capitol Coffee House.

Counter man working
So there we were sitting enjoying our nice tasty simple breakfast when the busy man behind the counter started making small talk. Though I kind of wished he hadn't waited until I had a mouth full of food before he started asking questions, I did enjoy the conversation. It's hard for me to concentrate on eating and thinking at the same time. I love talking to strangers while traveling so I forced myself to try & do both.
Then my husband said the unforgivable. There we were in the city of Boston completely vulnerable, surrounded mostly by men who most likely felt the same way as the counter man. As if baiting the counterman, my husband said to him "You guys haven't had good sports teams." Hearing that said, pleasant counter man stopped dead in his tracks & gave hubby a penetrating glare. "What?, we've always had good teams! the Celtics had some bad years, but they're doing good now." Making matters worse my husband said, "yeah, finally." I could see the thoughts racing through counter mans head as if he was plotting something in his mind. Now realize, up until this comment was made everything about counter man was genial & friendly. He was smiling, his shoulders were relaxed, he kept coming over to chat in between his busyness. Once this comment was made I can tell you that if counter man had any hairs on the back of his neck all of them were standing straight up. Now hubby had two people staring at him in disbelief, not that he noticed.
Knowing very little about sports I do know Boston is crazy over theirs so why would anyone say such a thing to a Bostonian?, in their own town no less! In a slight panic I quickly glanced around the room relieved to see everyone absorbed in their own conversations. Thankfully my husband does speak quietly. Knowing that changing the subject almost always works I tried to do so but to no avail. Counter man wasn't letting go, he was standing firm, staring. Finally he tensely asked, "what do you mean by that- yeah finally?" Hubby laughed with amusement working his charm as always acknowledging how yes, they are doing much better now. I could tell had counter man not been drawn away at that particular instant by having to make toast I am not sure what might have ensued but it probably would not have been good.
When I asked hubby what he could possibly be thinking by making that comment he said, that's the difference between NY & Boston, NY only loves their teams when they do something good then they will cheer you on, while Boston loves their teams no matter what.
Suffice to say counter man did speak with us again before we left. My husband has a knack for getting someones goat and then making them laugh- though it was plain to see counterman remained a little leary.
When counterman saw me taking pictures he smiled then looked at me and very proudly said, "Just in case you want to know, President Kennedy lived here in this very building before he became President, you know, just in case."
At the risk of sounding corny- I have to tell you, I love Boston.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

The Capitol Coffee House

Thursday morning we wanted a simple breakfast. Hubby wasn't in the mood for a finagel a bagel or Au Bon Pain & I'm pretty sure I heard him say the word "diner"-no surprise there... Though I didn't see any signs of one & was starting to feel my sugar level drop when I spotted two authentic in the flesh Boston policemen. They knew exactly where to send us. What was really interesting though was that they asked us for specifics. Like when I asked, Do you know a good place for breakfast nearby? They said, "Like what kind of place, like a bagel place?" & I said, "no, more like an eggs & toast with potatoes type of place." They both thoughtfully pondered for a second & then pointed us in the direction of the State House nodding & speaking, almost in unison, "Capitol Coffee House, yeah that's a good place, I think that's what your looking for."
Happily sitting in the coffee house we guessed we were in a good place because all the locals were there. They all knew each other & were stopping by on their way to work. I always enjoy watching people from different lands go to work while I vacation. One thing my husband & I both noticed was how relaxed everyone seemed to be going to work. We were actually walking around with a cup of coffee for about half an hour before we got to CCH & at one point Anthony said, "...Where are all these people going, is everyone here off from work today because they sure don't look like they are in any rush to get to work... to which I replied, "Well they all look as if they are dressed for the office, must just be the way people are here in Boston.
How refreshing is that? Just living in the moment, maybe even enjoying themselves while they walk to work.
Check out the locals with the perfect window seat. Don't they look relaxed? Doesn't this picture look more like the end of the day as opposed to eight o'clock in the morning?

This was their view outside their window.