Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I hope you find this as funny as I did...

I just laughed and laughed. Why Kanye West's drunken debacle made news is beyond me. This comedian puts it all into funny perspective.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

I gained 3 pounds last week!

oh well...
I didn't want to go to my Weight Watchers meeting this morning but I knew I had to because I didn't go last Saturday, I wasn't feeling well. And though I am not feeling so hot today, (I still have a cold) I knew if I skipped another week of getting weighed it could prove to be disastrous.
As I drove to my meeting I kept thinking I should just quit Weight Watchers. I thought maybe then I could relax, the weight will just drop off and things will just magically fall into place.
It's so weird how I seem to go through this reasoning every now and then, or should I say "magical" thinking? It must be a form of denial.
I mean, why don't I just stick to my program and lose the frigging weight already???
Pondering this, I looked back at the last time I was relatively successful at keeping my weight down. It was last winter, January of 2009. I was 6 pounds lighter. Ever since than I have been losing weight or gaining it back in two or three pound increments.
What does it take to be successful, to lose weight and keep it off?
This morning, Eileen, my Weight Watchers leader told my group, "Quitting is not an option".
Funny how that was exactly what I was thinking of doing this morning and that was one of the first things I heard her say not to do. She also said, and I am paraphrasing here, everyone cares about how they look, and when we take care of ourselves that is when we feel good about ourselves. We stand up straighter, we feel more confident, and we don't let people use us as a door mat. Then she said, "I demand to be treated well". Which made me think, why don't I demand that of myself? Why don't I treat myself well by putting my focus on achieving this one goal that I know will make me feel good about myself?
Every time I have succeeded in sticking to my program, my self esteem has gone up immeasurably and the cool thing is that self esteem naturally overlaps into other areas of my life.
I remember thinking when I lost the first fifteen pounds, if I feel this good now, how will I feel when I achieve my ultimate goal? Perhaps I am just scared to move out of my comfort zone?
I think it might be time for me to do some fire walking. In other words, I need to move out of my complacency or fear or whatever, and commit to taking the actions I need to take.
I need to do this because I really want to lose 18 pounds by November 12th.And I can't be afraid to say that just because I am afraid I won't be able to do it.
So, thanks Eileen, for saying the things I needed to hear.

this was the view from the breakfast room at Borgo Argenina, the place we stayed in Tuscany. I can still hear the birds singing.

Friday, September 11, 2009

We Will Never Forget

I read this on my friend Daryl's blog, Out and About in New York City, on the M104 this morning. I found this incredibly moving and I wanted to share it with you.
When I asked Daryl if I could reproduce it here, just as she did, she said, "absolutely".
Please visit her blog here where she also has a photo of the Twin Towers.
Thank you Daryl.

From the 104th Floor
by Leda Rodis (age 14 in 2001)

When the plane hit the building
rocked first
to the right
to the left,
and outside all the skyscrapers
of New York
seemed to tremble.

The alarms screamed louder
than we did, and I knew
it was time to get away. It's funny
what you notice:
a pen rolling across the floor
my screen saver flicker and go off
a picture of you
and me
at Coney Island.

So much to leave behind. And yet so little.

Running down the hall I remembered
my mother
taking me to the top
of the Empire
State Building when I was just
a little girl,
telling me that a plane
had crashed there a long
time ago. So I thought that maybe
what happened. Just
an accident. And accidents
happen everyday.

Under the blown-out exit sign
a crowd
is screaming,
on the door.
I know:


You have to believe that I tried. I'm not the one
to give up.
Back at my desk, I rescue
the rolling pen,
at the blank screen, and
my picture
of you.
I look out
at the blue morning.
I expect
to see God there.
But what I really see is
another plane.
And I know what it means.
But I don't know why...

I always thought that life was full of choices.
It always has been.
What to wear
Where to eat
Who to love
(and you know who I chose).

Now my choices have been taken away from me.
The men in the planes have narrowed my choices
Death by fire, or death by fall.

I see the smoke
filling the room
It's hard to breathe

I look towards the open window.
would falling feel like?

I remember the roller coaster at Coney Island.

The wind tugging at my hair
How good it felt to scream.
The feeling in my stomach.

And how all the way down

I was with you.

many of you have asked who Leda Rodis is ...

ON SEPTEMBER 11, 2001, 14-year-old Leda Rodis was in her high school library in Vermont, researching a freshman English assignment, when the announcement came over the loudspeaker: airplanes had been flown into both towers of the World Trade Center in New York. Like people everywhere that day, Leda watched the unreal images on television as the mammoth structures burned, then collapsed, killing thousands. The image that stuck with Leda most was that of two very brave people jumping from the towers, holding hands. Rather than die in the fire the terrorists had created, they chose to jump. And they chose to do it together.

More than any other event in history, images from 9/11 are forever seared onto humanity’s collective consciousness. Every person has tried in some way to come to terms with that day. Leda decided to write a poem. “From the 104th Floor” flowed through her as if a voice had come up out of the rubble. Though it memorializes the events and feelings of that day, “From the 104th Floor” is in the end a love poem. An inspiration. Love is bigger than terror.

Leda’s mother shared the poem with a friend in Brooklyn, Serguei Bassine, a young filmmaker. The poem’s images dug so deeply into him that in the weeks following 9/11 he would stand up and recite it on his subway commute from Brooklyn into Manhattan. Each time he read he saw horror turn to grief and then to hope in the eyes of his rapt listeners. For a long time he wrestled with how to bring the poem’s images to film without violating the integrity of the poem, or the enormity of the experiences of the people who were lost. In the end he made a short film usingblack-and-white animation as a way of honoring both the writer’s vision and the courage of the people who perished.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

a brother is...

the first boy you think of as being as handsome as your father

you absorb as much of your childhood together as possible until...

he falls madly in love and you see a side of him you never saw before

and you become genuinely happy for him and you begin to see how he really does know everything

...just like you always imagined he did.

after a certain time he becomes a father and you get to watch him fall in love again

this time with his children, and the love is palpable

... because you are given these wonderful gifts in the process, called nieces and nephews

and you also get to be called an aunt too.

I am lucky because I have two brothers I feel this way about.

today is the oldest one's birthday.

happy birthday Chip! I love you dear brother!

Aren't my brothers cute? Chip is the one next to my mother.

I lost the pound (and .2) I gained...

but that was last Saturday, so the question is, will I lose anything this week? Ok, ok, let me rejoice and remain positive!
I'll explain. It really was a miracle I lost anything last week though, because I was hungry every day, all day long, all week long. I didn't keep my food journal and I reluctantly went to my WW meeting last Saturday. I so very much did not want to go. I am convinced the only reason I lost that one pound was because the night before my Weight Watchers meeting my son had a 103.6 fever and I had just given him Tylenol an hour before I read the thermometer.
Have you ever had that sinking feeling when your child is sick? You know the feeling you get when what usually works really well to remedy the illness isn't working and you begin to realize you are moving into unknown territory, or at least territory you haven't visited since your child was 8 or 9.
Plus you realize at 15, your child is more like a young adult and a 103.6 fever is quite high for a young adult and you think back about how a week before you were in a foreign country and all these thoughts come into your mind in rapid succession-in other words, panic starts to set in. Have you ever felt that way as a parent?
Yeah, I was a little concerned, so I called the doctor at 10 PM last Friday, and I was pre-screened by the doctor's phone service. I respect that totally. And I noticed as I spoke to her my voice was shaking, then I remember thinking, wow I must be really worried. Then she asked me, "how did you take his temperature?" and when I replied with my shaky voice, " with a thermometer, I..." (I can laugh at my answer now) she said rather loudly and not so nicely, interrupting me as I kept talking, "ORALLY or RECTALLY?"
where upon my shaky voice disappeared as I morphed into Super Mom and I said, " ORALLY." but I said it in a tone that really meant, don't f#@&# with me now, just get the f-ing doctor on the phone, now please." & she did so and she did so very quickly. & I was relieved immediately because the doctor who was on call has seen my son a lot this year and she knew exactly what I should do and I did so and he is fine. God bless his doctor and her phone service screener person (and I mean that most sincerely).
Yes, he was fine about an hour after that call actually. Though I spent the next couple of hours in the bathroom evacuating everything in my bowels. This seems to happen to me when I get scared. Thankfully I don't get scared too much.
So, I am convinced that is how I lost a pound last week. So the ticker has been moved in the right direction! I guess every cloud has a silver lining.

thought you would enjoy a picture of her cuteness. please click on photo to see cuteness details up close and why she looks like a living breathing beany baby.