Saturday, October 17, 2009

I've sunk to a new low...

I've gained four pounds in the last two weeks, not exactly the low I was hoping for. The really rotten thing about this is the fact that as of today I have officially gained back all of the weight I have lost since I have started this second stint at WW not quite two years ago. All FOURTEEN pounds of it, how sad is that? That is more than my dog Priscilla weighs. & she gets awfully heavy if you carry her around for more than five minutes.
miss Priscilla, please click on photo to see her cuteness up close

The other twelve I have managed to keep off (thank the good Lord) since I originally began WW, I'm guessing that was four or five years ago.

I warned the woman who weighed me this morning that I thought I'd gained some weight this week. I could tell by the look on her face after she weighed me that it wasn't going to be pretty. Arrgh! what the hell am I doing? why can't I stay focused with my food plan? Seriously, I am not getting any younger. I wonder if I am just destined to be 20 pounds overweight the rest of my life.
It doesn't seem like Weight Watchers is working for me. Then I wonder if I am just not working Weight Watchers.
I am also wondering if I should quit this program. Then I think about how whenever I skip a week of getting weighed at WW I always gain weight. It's as if I need to be accountable to someone, I need to be honest about what is going on with regard to my weight or I'll just keep gaining. This never used to be the case with me. In the past, whenever I put on a few pounds I used too focus on whatever made me happy in life and bump up the exercise and I would start to fit into my clothes better. I never used to weigh myself either.
Would I keep spiraling down if I stopped Weight Watchers, or is it possible I could still do it on my own?

For today I've decided it is very important to me to lose this extra baggage that I feel has been weighing me down.
For those of you who question my weight loss ambitions please know I'm not exactly miserable, I just remember what it was like not having the extra weight on my body. I was much more comfortable.
Somewhere along the way I've lost the knack for maintaining a healthy body weight. I write about it here as I try and figure out how to get that balance back.
I miss running faster, waking up easier, having more energy, and I remember noticing big improvements in all three of those areas when I was 14 pounds lighter.

Please vote in my poll as to whether or not you think I should stay in WW. It's over on my sidebar to your right.
Some good news, I've been exercising a lot. I jogged 3 miles the other day and I felt great afterwards.

10 comments:

Maggie and Mitch said...

Will power is such a hard thing!
Good for you for keeping up with the exercise program! One day you're just going to decide that today is the day and you'll stick with it!

MmeBenaut said...

I think you should quit WW, LilyH; the problem is that it forces you to think about food constantly. Better to have some almonds in your pocket if you need something to crunch on or brazil nuts for extra vitamins. Drink plenty of water and keep busy; keep moving; keep jogging. Eat soup and salad and eat half the portion you serve your husband. Drink a full glass of water before you sit down to dinner.
Eat as many vegetables and as much salad as you like but go easy on the dressing and butter.
Instead of cereal; have a boiled egg for breakfast - much more satisfying.
And, stick to the periphery of the supermarket - fresh only - absolutely no prepared foods.
With middle age though, unless we are relentless which takes all the joy out of life, it is inevitable that we will carry extra weight. Sometimes it's simply a matter of reassessing what is realistic. Only those who are anexoric end up looking like 17 year old girls.
Give it away, cheer up and keep walking :)))))))

Ian France said...

I have faith in you, you'll definitely lose that weight again :) don't worry, like Benaut said - almonds are very delicious, and so are boiled eggs.

Anonymous said...

Interesting, Aunt D joined WW and lost 5 lbs. We all need accountability, it's all a matter of who and what. Like maybe just to one's self. I'd try a few more WW meetings whilst you sought out what you want to do. When one has a family to feed, food will be on your mind daily. Love that pup. PGma

Anonymous said...

I'd remove the ticker from the top of this page. JMO-- PGma

Tania-Dreams2009 said...

I go up and down too and I know how frustrating it can be. You are doing great though and exercising is a big part of it all :) I think you will be down those 4lbs in no time! :)

Priscilla is a doll! So cute!

fishwithoutbicycle said...

I agree with Mme Benaut that WW coul be causing you to think about food more often than you would otherwise. I think going back to not weighing yourself could be a good thing too. I just go by the fit of my pants. If they are feeling a bit snug I hit the salad bar ;-) Good luck!!

d. moll, l.ac. said...

Go gluten free, inflammation is a cause for weight gain. Wheat and gluten can be guilty of irritating the system, even when you feel like it's OK.

Kitty said...

hm......!

Do you only jog at the gym? Have you tried lifting weights?

Weights are great for women because of the impact on our bones. You gain a little muscle, tone up and increase your metabolism. You'll burn more calories simply at a resting rate because you have more muscle.

Losing weight is tough. I've only started going back to the gym again. Time seems to put the weight on.

I heard from Oprah's nutrition podcast with Bob Greene that a woman needs to go to the gym 5 times a week to lose weight. One cannot simply diet it off.

My suggestion is to run on the treadmill for about 10-15 minutes to loosen up. Then hit the weights. Do arm lifts one day, legs the next. It's much harder during the winter, isn't it?

Thérèse said...

Good luck! I think it's a personal question and what works for one does not work for the other.
It's first a matter of Will...
Plenty of salads and plenty of fruits and veggies... no sugar and not bread or cookies/cakes. That's it.