Today Ian is taking his last final exam and it is also his last day attending an all boys Catholic high school. Just recently I realized I never made cupcakes for him to bring to school. Ian and I did make them for his violin group once - he was probably 6 years old. We had so much fun making them. I think we made a 100 of them and I think it may have taken us two days. He was so concerned about making sure we had enough for everyone. It was right before Thanksgiving and it turned out we had more than enough. The "icing on the cake" was how surprised everyone in his violin group was when we brought them in. Such a small gesture made so many people happy.
So last night I made him 48 cupcakes to bring to school. Ian will be able to give each kid on his bus and his bus driver a cupcake and everyone in his homeroom one too. He said everyone likes chocolate cake the most so I made chocolate cupcakes frosted and sprinkled with his school's colors. I wish I could have made one for the entire graduating class.
This morning I am thinking about how lucky I am to be able to do something like that. I am also thinking about how there are some kids in his school who will not pass their exams and who also feel so uncertain about their future. Ian's teacher told his class there are usually several kids who fail their finals. The finals at his school are worth half their grade for the entire year. No pressure there eh?
I'm also thinking about how in just a couple of hours I will be waiting outside of Ian's school so I can witness a touching tradition where the senior class exits the school for the last time. I hope each of them knows deep in their heart that no matter what their final grade turns out to be, that is not what defines them. Whatever path they are meant to be on will make itself apparent sooner or later. They are all still so young and have so much ahead of them to look forward too. My prayer for all of them is that they realize this is true and that it's all good.
I've been told they look like men when they leave. I can't wait to see this for myself. I just hope I can hold it together - I've already had a few outbursts this morning and it wasn't pretty.

Wow! it has been over two years since I've written for this blog! where the hell have I been?