I find whenever I am searching for meaning in- whatever, all I have to do is read a little Shakespeare & everything becomes clear.
Yesterday my son Ian found out that he didn't get into Regis High School- a school he so very much wanted to attend. Before he opened the letter I told him I knew how he would feel if he was a semi-finalist, but how would he feel if he didn't get in? He stopped & thought a moment & then he said, "Then it wasn't meant to be." Thank you God, I thought to myself-this kid has got it going on.
As I looked over his shoulder reading the letter with him, he came to the part where they wrote, "I regret to..." he let out a small sound of disappointment that breaks every parents heart when they hear it. Then he finished reading their long thoughtful letter of rejection-which was very kind of the school to take the time to write.
Afterwards we hugged & we talked.
We knew we would hear from the school by December 7th. At some point in the last couple of days we would think, we may find out today & then we'd get excited when the mail came. I could tell how disappointed he was. What a great feeling it would be to be picked as one of the 230 semi-finalists out of the approximately 800 that tested. The application process was long & involved & Ian went through it entirely on his own. After reading what he wrote on his application, & watching him exit the building after the entrance exam at Regis, my husband & I were hard pressed to think of a reason why he wouldn't at the least, make it to the semi-finalist stage. Ian is a model student with first honors & academic performance certificates since he started school. When he was home schooled he tested post high school. He also has a long list of community service to his credit & is an excellent violinist. So it's fair to say we kind of had our hopes up. But he didn't get in. & as much as I felt like he would have learned so much in what seemed like a magnificent learning environment, I can't help but feel Regis really missed out. Of course I am his mother so I know what you are thinking-but that' s OK, I wouldn't expect otherwise after writing a statement like that-but I also know that what I just wrote is absolutely true.
& Ian, if you are reading this, please know how proud of you I am for trying your best. You are always brave in that way, you are never afraid of uncertain outcomes. You inspire me as I watch you living your life to the fullest.
& like any anticipated event, it's a letdown when it's over-even if it's just as far as the parents are concerned-kids seem so much more resilient. The good news is, now we can be excited about what is in store for this bright young man. If he wasn't meant to be at Regis, a school my son, my husband & I thought would be a perfect fit-that must mean there has to be another place, a place where he truly belongs. & if Regis is all we think it is, than wherever Ian winds up will be even greater for him. That is just how it works, you know? Sometimes a power greater than ourselves gets to decide what we will be doing. Actually I think that is always the case-only sometimes he lets us believe otherwise.
Dear God, please guide us as parents by helping us encourage our son to follow the path he is meant to take in his life. Help us not to bend your will, but accept your will and do so in complete faith.