last Saturday's update...

Here I am two days away from my next weigh in & I realized I haven't posted about last week yet! I lost .6 pounds again. It sounds like a lot when I put it like that doesn't it? What makes me most happy is that it was the fourth week in a row I actually lost weight, even if it was only a little bit.
1.8 pounds total lost over the last 4 weeks is better than nothing or at least better than gaining. I have to say that writing down exactly what I eat for the last two weeks has been a real eye opener. Every week Weight Watchers give you a journal to record your meals, so it's not exactly new for me except the rather large difference of my deciding to keep track of my moods and how that affects my hunger as well. Sometimes I find I want something to eat but when I identify the fact that I am not really hungry it is much easier to say no to the temptation in my brain. I guess a lot of it is just plain self awareness. I think I have found that keeping a food diary is a good tool in keeping that awareness in the forefront of my mind.
The bad news is last night I went to a "cocktail" party and neglected to bring along my diary! I was quite hungry when I got there, so I'm not sure that would have helped. There were delicious mini spring rolls and crab cakes and all sorts of cheeses and smoked salmon. I did manage to stop myself before I became completely stuffed and switched to several glasses of ice water at the end, so I wasn't a total failure. All this means to me, is that today I have to be extra aware about what I put into my mouth as well as extra active. I can do that.
I think I will also have a large salad for lunch today as well.
Do you believe tomorrow is Halloween? I like these glowing pumpkins even if they are a little fuzzy around the edges.

a good day indeed...

mainly because my soul sister in law Lisa was born on this day, actually she was born yesterday, but I didn't go to sleep yet so for me it is still today. what can I say about this woman that I haven't already said? Just check out my side bar & click on Quasi-Mom & you will see for yourself what she is made of. One word immediately comes to mind, BRAVE. First, because she had the guts to marry my brother who is very much the dare devil and secondly because she isn't afraid to grow! & she grows with a determined fervor like she is on a mission. She is also really smart so she can do things like apply her growth to areas of her life where she actually changes and improves on it. I say Bravo to you Lisa because you are amazing for always showing such gratitude for your life by your every day actions.
If you have ever read my blog, you have heard me sing her praises before, so let me just say this, Happy Birthday Lisa! I want you to know I call you soul sister because you inspire something in me that I can't really explain too easily and those two words just seem to sum it up. and besides, I love you my dear Lisa! If only you didn't live so far away!

Hope you like my ghost photo...

please bear with me, I just can't get seem to get enough of Halloween.
I have been wanting to post here so badly since my "one" day of journaling last week. I have so much to tell you. First I want to say the journaling definitely helped. I actually did journal every day this week. Like I thought might happen, I couldn't write it all in this blog, it was just too time consuming. It was hard enough keeping up with it every day, especially when I had to figure out what mood I was in, now that was draining! I did find out one major thing in the process. If I write down what I eat or even what I plan on eating, I will eat less!
Some more good news, when I weighed in at my Weight Watchers meeting last Saturday, I lost .6 pounds. When I am in a negative frame of mind it seems like nothing but when I total up the last three weeks it adds up to 1.2 pounds. Some days I would just love to quit, that would be so easy. But I know I will feel so much better about myself if I just keep moving forward. Besides, it's nice to be able to go clothes shopping again. I can actually find things I like & I'm not grossed out when I look in the mirror in those awful dressing rooms. & even though I only seem to be able to lose a little weight at a time, exercising really helps with how my clothes fit which is a nice feeling. I'm not so uncomfortable anymore. I feel like I am losing inches if not fat!

Journaling moods & foods

so after much consideration I decided I'd try writing a detailed daily food & MOOD journal. I can't say if I have the fortitude to post it here everyday or not, but below is what I ate on Friday.

6am- really wanted to share those blueberry waffles with my son, they smelled so good! but knew I wasn't really hungry yet so I thought it would be better to wait and drank two large glasses of water instead. I felt energized.

8:30ish- had a cup of decaff coffee with half & half & sugar, enjoyed it immensely, felt the same.

9AM I started feeling hungry so I had an 8oz. glass of milk with a peanut butter Luna bar, sort of ate it on the run.

most of the morning I felt fine, but I did feel nauseous and not quite myself a few times, like I needed to lay down or something. I'm not sure I would have really taken note of this, maybe I would have passed this off had I not been keeping a journal.

1:30ish- ate lunch out, my favorite, 2 eggs over easy with home fries & rye toast & a 4oz. glass of OJ

completely sated and full of energy after enjoying the meal and taking a break with good company.

5:45- ate fresh organic cauliflower, spinach, cucumber, frisee, & romaine salad with lite dressing & a single serving of organic wholewheat spaghetti with organic marinara basil sauce & olive oil.

completely sated, happy, rejuvenated.

6PM-walked for one hour.

9-10PM- 2 cups of sleepy time tea with a small spoon of honey.

Today was a good day food wise. I was in a good mood all day. I hadn't any cravings & I ate reasonably well. & I also drank water all day. Plus, the biggy, I stayed within my weight watcher limits calorie wise. Actually WW refers to calories as points.

Now I'm thinking I'm glad I'm keeping this journal so I can refer back to a good day when things go awry...

Below is a photo of my role model Sylvia, the most patient cat in the entire world.

Blogging for Poverty

I wish you could truly know how every one's comments about my last post helped me keep things in perspective. Oh, & just in case you haven't been following my story, you may want to start here before reading any further. When I weighed myself this morning the scale read the same as last Saturday and I refuse to get all bent out of shape about it. I am over it. I would love to know for sure what my "real" weight is, but I can wait until Saturday. Besides the whole idea about today's action is so that we can feel good about giving. If I am getting all down on myself because of "whatever", I'm just defeating the purpose. The main thing is to move forward. My beloved soulSis Lisak suggested in her comments, ...why not donate as much as I've lost since I started Weight Watchers, who says you can't?...she wrote. I like that type of thinking Lisak! It seems so obvious now that she mentions it, LOL! Lisa is an amazing power of example of weight loss inspiration. I suggest you click on her name, above in green, if you want to see what she is doing about her weight. Lisa has awesome courage.
& then Muse Swings made me laugh out loud about the air pressure affecting the scales at Weight Watchers. Thanks Muse, you are very encouraging. You also happen to be a very talented woman with a heartfelt blog. I suggest anyone reading this to go check out her recent ghost story posts & she has a really funny one on spitting too. Go here.
And Kitty I have been thinking about your questions since you posted them. You really have given me food for thought...I can't believe I just wrote that, but it's funny so I have to leave it in. The very fact that this is the way I think is so telling. Anyway, Kitty questioned me about eating tremendous amounts of food & not feeling full. That's an interesting question because there have been many times when I have eaten a full well balanced nutritious meal and I wonder why I am still hungry. And then there are other times when after a meal I am completely sated. I definitely think I need to start paying closer attention to what is happening with me. Maybe keeping a detailed food journal will help, like one that includes how sated I am & how I feel energy wise. Kitty also mentioned 5-HTP. I have heard about using this natural remedy for depression, but never as an appetite suppressant. Thanks for including the link Kitty. & if anyone wants to see a portrait of Manhattan in photographs, please go see Kitty's work here.
& my Mom, she pointed out (by telephone) that all my exercise is making my body more muscular and that is why I am probably having problems with the scale. I don't really understand how all that works, but come to think of it, I have heard people run into issues with their weight and exercise. I guess I need to educate myself on that. Thanks Mom.
So here is what I did. I went and got some food over at my local "big box" store and I dropped it off at my local food pantry today. I felt great. It made me think of how my son and I used to do this on a regular basis and I wondered how I got out of that habit and then I remembered I really didn't, I just give money instead. That made me think how that's just not the same, so I think I can do both. I think I can give money and I can easily add a couple extra items in my cart for those in need. I really believe if we all did just a little something we could really make a big difference. Just look at what happened to me, I gave just a little and I feel like I got one hundred times more than I gave. It makes me want to give more. It's funny to me how that works.



This is what I dropped off at the food pantry. I decided to add up the weight of the food just to make sure it was at least 12 pounds. The really weird thing is, it added up to a little over 18 pounds. 18 pounds is my present total weight loss goal. I couldn't even carry it all at once, I had to make two trips from the car to the pantry. It makes me think what that added weight does to my body.
Thank you again my fellow women friends, you really are very caring, encouraging people!

weight loss update

Last Saturday was a bit disappointing. I had weighed myself before I left for my Weight Watchers meeting and it looked like I had lost 1-2 pounds. When I got to the meeting I found out I only lost a meager .2 pounds! I have no explanation for this, I didn't eat a thing before my meeting & my scale has always read the same as WW's, so I don't know what the deal is. I must be in some sort of unconscious denial because I even felt like I lost weight.
So that must mean I lost about a tablespoon of fat, right?
The other not so good news is Friday was the last time I exercised. I had a bad cold so I just went for a one hour walk. I only ran 6.4 miles last week. I wasn't even close to meeting my 12 mile weekly running goal. I was planning on running Thursday & Saturday but I wasn't planning on being sick. Today I am fine so I will begin again and run some distance to get me back on track.

Tomorrow I will weigh myself again as my way of participating in Blog Action Day for Poverty. I planned on donating a pound of food for every pound I lost since I posted about it on October 7th here on this blog. Though I have to say given the state of poverty in the world, whatever weight in food I wind up giving will be small potatoes compared to how much is needed.

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"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves."

~ William Shakespeare

Now that I have my running goals squared away I feel it is necessary to re-think my weight loss goals. In case you aren't a regular follower of this blog, I started this blog last November two days after I started Weight Watchers. I was simultaneously inspired to do so by Mihow's blog post about losing weight. I also had a writing bug that I needed to attend too so I figured, why not use a blog to journal about my experience? I figured the blog would help enforce a self imposed discipline to write and if I shared my weight loss story, maybe I would inspire others who may in turn help fan my flames of self motivation.
It's not quite 11 months later and I have lost a total of 10.6 pounds of which I am very grateful. I do believe that by this time had I not started some type of program I would probably have gained weight by now instead of losing it. In the last few years that has been the trend as my metabolism is definitely slowing down. So I feel good about what I am doing. Besides, what would be the alternative?
I feel that the big difference about my striving to lose weight this go round is my attitude. I do not plan on quitting until I reach my goal and I become a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. I knew that trying to lose weight for all of the common reasons would not be easy for me. I felt the key to my success would be to keep my program in the forefront of my mind. This has probably been the most difficult part. There are so many other things that are so much more interesting to think about! I have noticed over the past 11 months that it helps me if I continually find ways to keep myself motivated. It seems like now is the perfect time to set some new goals.

Recently I came upon The Blog Action day for Poverty. The idea is that on October 15, 2008 bloggers could each take some sort of action to help fight poverty. It is suggested on the site that if you have a personal blog, you may document a personal activity that is helping the disadvantaged.
It just so happens that Weight Watchers is presently promoting a Lose For Good campaign. For every pound of weight lost by a WW member between September 7th & October 18th Weight Watchers will donate the equivalent of a pound of food up to one million dollars.
I have lost only .4 pounds since it started, so I was thinking I could set a goal in order to get in on both the Blog Action Day for Poverty as well as the Weight Watchers campaign. Including today I have 12 days left, which is almost 2 weeks to lose for the Weight Watchers campaign. WW says if you carefully follow their program you should lose between 1-2 pounds a week. So I am thinking I will set a goal to lose 3.6 more pounds to add to my .4 which would make it a total of four pounds of food that would be donated by WW.
I also decided that I could weigh myself on the 15th for the Blog Action Day for Poverty event and report on my progress. I could also personally donate a pound of food for every pound I've lost to the local food pantry as another action as well.

So these are my new goals. I'm upping the ante a bit with decidedly small milestones. Hopefully this will speed things up for me without my biting off more than I can chew...literally! Then maybe I could help someone else in the process as well and that always feels good.

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Poundage lost last Saturday ! Finally...

though I guess I am exaggerating being that I lost .4 pounds which hardly qualifies as poundage. But hey, when the nice lady at Weight watchers said nice job as I got weighed in on Saturday morning I thought, I'll take it.
Remember my last post when I wrote about my year of running? I think that writing about that helped me re-assess my fitness goals. In reviewing my running journal to get the figures straight I could see how I slacked off on the running last June, July & August. I had good reason to in July & August, I had a bit of a health issue happening that prevented me from running & June was a month filled with one event after another. So yes I had good reasons not to be running but the point is as soon as I got back into it I noticed how I seemed slower & I was wondering why that was. After reviewing my exercise patterns it seems obvious now. I wasn't running as much, so of course I would get slower! Anyway, I've been running steadily again for the last few weeks and I am picking up the speed.
So now that I am back on track I think I do need to set some new goals. I think running 12-15 miles a week would be reasonable. I was proud that I was able to run 259.5 miles last year but when you average it out that is only about 5 miles per week. I did supplement my running with biking and walking and hiking, but I don't get my heart rate up as much and I never sweat as much. I feel that running gives me that extra edge I just don't get from the other exercise. So there it is, my new goal. Last week I ran a little over 12 miles so I've already begun.
Tomorrow I am going to talk about new weight loss goals.

a year ago today...

I added running to my exercise regime. It was a desperate attempt on my part to try and change my mood. I woke up that day with a dark cloud hanging over me and I wanted it gone. I always heard about the endorphin high people claimed to experience but I just didn't think it was worth all that jarring of the bones. Besides, I enjoyed biking, hiking and almost daily hour long walks. I didn't feel the need to run.
The dark cloud morning came after a reprieve of not having one for awhile. I haven't written about this in a long time but the fact remains that I lost my dear brother-in-law Paul one year and nine months ago. It was such a complete shock. He died suddenly of a massive heart attack. That afternoon he was playing ice-hockey. He was only 43.
So there was a sea of grief that enveloped us all and still does to some extent. I found that losing a family member changed everything. Life as we knew it would never be the same.We all had to find a new way to navigate our days. I am writing we because as a family we are inextricably linked. When Paul died, we all felt it like a painful ripple effect.
So here I am having run 259.5 miles passed that dark cloud morning. I miss my brother-in-law Paul. I think of him everyday. I know he is with us though, watching over all of us. Sometimes I feel his presence when I am running. It feels like he's right behind me, rooting me on.